


Groupchat au

by niastewfart



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: groupchat au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:13:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23596654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niastewfart/pseuds/niastewfart
Summary: Does what it says on the tin! This is my first fic in ages so be gentle lmao
Comments: 19
Kudos: 148





	1. Chapter One- ill timed yeet

  * **Mammoney** added **AsmoBaby,** **monSOLO** and **stn** to **Human Studies Squad**



**Mammoney:** lets cut to the chase here

**monSOLO:**???

**monSOLO:** we are literally sitting across from eachother mammon

**Mammoney:** beside the point

**Mammoney:** I need your help or Lucifer is gonna kill me

**AsmoBaby:** aw does Mammon need relationship advice?

**monSOLO:** who are you in a pact w now mammon

**Mammoney:** nobody!! That was one time wtf

**AsmoBaby:** then whats the big fuss about??

**Mammoney:** I didn’t listen to the homework

**Mammoney:** or the class

**Mammoney:** I’m ngl I’m not even sure I’m in the right class, but at this point im too afraid to ask

**monSOLO:** wtf mammon

**Mammoney:** what?? Pls you gotta help me out, Lucifer is already on my ass for the bank letters :(

**AsmoBaby:** ooo is that what that screaming this morning was? Lmao you’re in for it now mammon

**Mammoney:** you all bully me

**Mammoney:** goldie wouldn’t treat me like this :(

**monSOLO:** what is that your girlfriend?

**AsmoBaby:** it’s his credit card

**monSOLO:** ah figures

**stn:** 1\. The homework was a group project on human culture mammon. 2. why can’t you all just pay attention in class instead of dropping me in it cause my ddd wont stop buzzing

**Mammoney:** well maybe you shoulda put it on silent wise guy

**stn:** well I was going to offer to be in your group for the project but I guess you don’t want my help

**Mammoney:** you were always my favourite little brother did you know that :))

**stn:** someday I will have your knees you know that right

**Mammoney:** but you love me really

**AsmoBaby:** why have they gone silent?

**monSOLO:** fairly certain satan just threw smth at mammon

**AsmoBaby:** makes sense lmao

**stn:** I resent the implication I threw anything at my dear brother. He just got in the way of an ill timed yeet

**monSOLO:** iLL TIMED YEET


	2. Chapter two- Invasion of the Geese

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the brothers are there now ^^

**Lucifer** messaged **Mammoney**

 **Lucifer:** care to explain why you have created a groupchat without me?

 **Lucifer:** mammon I can see you on your phone, I know you’re just ignoring me.

 **Lucifer:** Mammon.

**Mammoney** to **Human Studies Squad**

 **Mammoney:** gUYS

 **Mammoney:** GUYS LUCIFER TEXTED ME

 **Mammoney:** WHICH ONE OF YOU SNITCHED

 **stn:** wasn’t me

 **monSOLO:** not me

 **Mammoney:** asmo

 **AsmoBaby:** oopsie daisy~

 **Mammoney:** ASMO SERIOUSLY

 **Mammoney:** WHAT THE HELL AND FUCK

 **Mammoney:** he wants me to add him what do I do

 **monSOLO:** just add him, save us all the lecture

 **Mammoney** added **Lucifer** to **Human Studies Squad**

 **Lucifer:** you shouldn’t be on your phones in school

 **stn:** rich coming from you

 **AsmoBaby:** aw girls, girls, you’re both beautiful :o

 **Lucifer’s** nickname was changed to **Lucey-goosey**

 **Lucey-goosey:** undo that right now or I will end you

 **Lucey-goosey:** where did you all go?

 **Lucey-goosey:** cowards

**Lucifer** messaged **Beelzeburger**

 **Lucifer:** out of curiosity

 **Lucifer:** how does one change their nickname in a groupchat?

 **Lucifer:** beel?

 **Beelzeburger:** sorryarm was ded, itsin setti ngs

 **Lucifer:** ah, thanks

 **Beelzeburger:** ns

**Lucey-Goosey** changed their nickname to **Lucifer**

 **Lucifer** added **Beelzeburger** to **Human Studies Squad**

 **Beelzeburger** added **Belphie** to **Human Studies Squad**

 **Mammoney:** spoil sport

 **Lucifer:** ah so you changed it then?

 **Mammoney:** NO

 **Mammoney:** I’m not an admin, I can’t

 **monSOLO:** liar

 **Mammoney:** aNYWAY WE SHould talk about the project cause we’re all good students

 **Beelzeburger:** whatpro ject?

 **Mammoney:** the human studies one

 **Mammoney:** you don’t even take that anymore right

 **Beelzeburger:** nop e

 **stn:** I’ll help you if you want Mammon

 **Mammoney:** aw thanks you’re being awfully nice :)

 **stn:** only in return for a favour to be cashed in at any time :)

 **Mammoney:** dickhead

 **Beelzeburger:** sure lyI’ve alre ady finishedit

 **Beelzeburger:** sinc e I tookit last year

 **Mammoney:** you were always my favourite little brother beel

 **stn:** why are you typing weird Beel?

 **Beelzeburger:** armsded

 **stn:** why??

 **Beelzeburger:** belph ison it

 **Mammoney:** so move him?

 **Beelzeburger:** if you wantmy pro jectd ont tell me howto livem y life

 **Mammoney:** do whatever you want brother dearest ^^

 **AsmoBaby:** me and Sol are working together~

 **monSOLO:** yes, we’ve already started

 **Lucifer:** at least one of my brothers cares about their school work

 **stn:** so I don’t exist then huh

 **Lucifer:** perhaps Solomon is rubbing off on him

 **Mammoney:** not the only thing they’re rubbing

 **monSOLO:** go fuck yourself Mammon

 **AsmoBaby:** didn’t know you had such an interest in my love life mammon! Maybe we can bond over it ^^

 **Mammoney:** no nonono I’m a-okay

 **Beelzeburger:** should we add Levi? It feels weird to leave him out

 **Lucifer** added **L3V1**

 **L3V1:** was wondering when you’d finally all crack

 **L3V1:** its not fair you guys all get to have secret groupchats without me

 **L3V1:** and anyway, what were you all talking about?

 **Beelzeburger:** the human studies project

 **stn:** did belphie roll over?

 **Beelzeburger:** yeah how could you tell?

 **stn:** you’re no longer illiterate

 **Beelzeburger:** rude :(

 **Belphie** renamed the groupchat **STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE IM TRYING TO SLEEP**

 **Belphie:** >:(


	3. Chapter Three: cash money

**Lucifer** sent a message to **STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE IM TRYING TO SLEEP (17:03)**

**Lucifer:** could someone please explain why mammon has fully lost it?

**stn:** what’s he done now?

**Lucifer:** he appears to be having a stronk

**Lucifer:** *stroke

**stn:** stronk

**AsmoBaby:** stronk

**Lucifer:** oh fuck don’t start

**monSOLO:** stronk

**L3V1:** stronk

**Beelzeburger:** stronk

**Belphie:** stronk

**Mammoney:** stronk

**Lucifer:** shut up mammon

**Mammoney:** that wasn’t very cash money of you :/

**Lucifer:** that’s exactly what I mean!

**monSOLO:** sdsfdghfd

**Lucifer:** it’s contagious

**Belphie:** it’s a meme, actually

**Lucifer:** what’s the fatality rate?

**Belphie:** it’s not deadly, it’s a joke

**Belphie:** just cause you can’t take one doesn’t mean it kills the rest of us

**Mammoney:** yeah goosey I’m just bonding with the exchange students, stop accusing me of serious medical conditions :/

**Mammoney:** actually

**Mammoney:** could I sue if I did have a stroke?

**stn:** no so don’t try

**Mammoney:** spoil sport

**Belphie** sent a message to **STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE IM TRYING TO SLEEP (04:16)**

**Belphie:** stronk hahahaha

**stn:** it’s four in the morning

**stn:** I will kill you

**Belphie:** honk honk he’s having a stronk

**stn:** I’ll let you off just this once

**AsmoBaby:** I need my beauty sleep so if you could both shut up :(

**Lucifer:** belphie I will put you in an early grave

**Mammoney:** sgdjsgd honk honk

**Beelzeburger:** we have school tmrw goto bed

**Belphie:** yOu’rE nOT my DaD

**Lucifer:** I will make you all charge your phones outside your rooms if this keeps up

**L3V1:** I’m in the middle of a raid so if you could stop making my phone blow up you weirdos

**Mammoney:** I’m still dying over honk

**Lucifer:** I will steal your teeth

**Mammoney:** no longer dying over honk

**Mammoney:** I’ve consulted my lawyer, and he said it was a bad case, and to cease and desist

**Mammoney:** consider me firmly alive

**L3V1** sent a message to **STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE IM TRYING TO SLEEP (05:01)**

**L3V1:** lmao honk

**stn:** what the fuck I was just about to fall asleep again

**AsmoBaby:** aughhhhh levi why am I awake again

**Lucifer:** you’re all insufferable and I’m getting a restraining order

**Mammoney:** that’s not very cash money of you :/

**monSOLO:** go the fuck to bed all of you Luke is going to bite my ankle off if my ddd lights up again

**AsmoBaby:** my skin is going to be ruined if I get one more night of bad sleep because of you lot >:/

**Belphie:** that wouldn’t be very cahs money

**Lucifer:** I will end you both if you don’t start speaking English again

**stn:** that’s not very

**Lucifer** removed **stn, Mammoney** and **Belphie** from **STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE IM TRYING TO SLEEP**

**monSOLO** renamed the group **that wasn’t very cash money :(**

**Lucifer** removed **monSOLO** from **that wasn’t very cash money :(**


	4. Chapter four- Divine Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst train pulls into gc -ville. Thought I'd actually add some plot instead of just having the bois be feral

**Mammoney** added **monSOLO, Belphie** and **stn** to **unloved :(**

 **Mammoney:** well lads

 **Mammoney:** it’s been four hours

 **Mammoney:** and we haven’t been added back

 **Mammoney:** so in summary

 **Mammoney:** I’m going to go feral

 **monSOLO:** oh asmo added me back in like five minutes later idk why you weren’t

 **stn:** I was too, granted it took them an hour

 **Mammoney:** @ **Belphie** were you too???

 **Belphie:** yh lmao

 **Mammoney** deleted **unloved :(**

**Mammoney** sent a message to **Belphie**

 **Mammoney:** not that I care like, at all, but are they talking about me

 **Mammoney:** belph?

 **Belphie:** no

 **Mammoney:** you sure waited a long time to reply

 **Belphie:** mammon I was sleeping

 **Mammoney:** sure

 **Mammoney:** then add me back

 **Mammoney:** if you’re so sure they weren’t talking about me

 **Belphie:** mammon

 **Mammoney:** go on

**Belphie** added **Mammoney** to **that wasn’t very cash money :( (09:15)**

 **Mammoney** left **that wasn’t very cash money :( (09:23)**

 **Lucifer:** why did he leave, didn’t you say he wanted back in?

 **stn:** typically, people don’t like reading people insulting them

 **L3V1:** it’s just some brotherly teasing lmao he needs to chill

 **AsmoBaby:** I told you to delete the messages, didn’t I?

 **Belphie:** you shouldn’t have sent them in the first place but go off I guess

 **Lucifer:** as if you’ve always been a perfect angel to him

 **Belphie:** you’ve pushed it too far this time

 **Beelzeburger:** belph

 **stn:** why did you add him back if you knew he was going to get upset?

 **Belphie:** to teach you all a lesson

 **Lucifer:** *us

 **Belphie:** fine, us

**monSOLO** sent **Mammoney** a message

 **monSOLO:** mammon u Gucci

 **Mammoney:** yh why wouldn’t I be?

 **monSOLO:** don’t play dumb

 **Mammoney:** well you clearly all think I’m not playing

 **monSOLO:** you realise they probably thought you were still in the chat? And that they were just teasing you?

 **Mammoney:** I don’t really care

 **monSOLO:** why did you leave then?

 **monSOLO:** you know I’m right

**monSOLO** sent a message to **Purgatory Hall**

 **monSOLO:** Luke?

 **Angeluke:** yes Solomon?

 **monSOLO:** could I convince you to make those cookies again?

 **monSOLO:** you know, the ones with the peanut butter?

 **Angeluke:** sure! Any excuse to practice!

 **DDSimeon:** WHATS THE OCCASION SOLOMON?

 **monSOLO:** luke I thought you said you’d showed him how to turn off caps lock??

 **Angeluke:** I did-

 **DDSimeon:** HE DID But sometimes I get confused and hit the button too many times (o･д･)

 **monSOLO:** I just want to give someone a present is all, Simeon

 **DDSimeon** : that’s awfully kind of you, what do you expect in return?

 **monSOLO:** nothing for now

 **DDSimeon:** it appears we’re perhaps a good influence Luke (≧∇≦)

 **monSOLO:** I said for now

**monSOLO** sent a message to **that wasn’t very cash money :( (17:30)**

 **monSOLO:** you can all thank me later, but I’ve taken the liberty of getting an apology ready for Mammon

 **monSOLO:** asmo could you be a dear and delete these messages after everyone has read them?

 **AsmoBaby:** of course ;)

 **monSOLO:** asmo has a bag of cookies he’s going to let you all give to Mammon to make up for this morning’s incident. You are all going to play along. You definitely aren’t going to tell him that I was the one who got them. Capiche?

 **Lucifer:** they say not to look a gift horse in the mouth

 **AsmoBaby** deleted five messages!

**monSOLO** added **Mammoney** to **that wasn’t very cash money :( (18:06)**

 **Mammoney:** I’ll forgive you all just this once >:/


	5. Chapter 5- interrogation room #3

**AsmoBaby** sent a message to **that wasn’t very cash money :( (15:33)**

 **AsmoBaby:** who did it

 **Mammoney:** who did what?

 **stn:** yeah asmo, you’re going to have to be more specific

 **AsmoBaby:** I leave my door unlocked for oNE DAY

 **AsmoBaby:** AND ONE OF YOU FUCKERS BREAKS MY VANITY

 **AsmoBaby** changed the group settings

 **AsmoBaby** changed the group name to **INTERROGATION ROOM #3**

 **Mammoney:** uh asmo why can’t we leave

 **AsmoBaby:** WE ARE ON A 24 HOUR LOCKDOWN UNTIL ONE OF YOU FESSES UP

 **Lucifer:** asmo don’t you think this is a little excessive?

 **AsmoBaby:** I hope you chip a nail goose

 **stn:** how do you know someone broke it? What if it just…broke?

 **L3V1:** that kinda sounds like you’ve got a guilty conscious

 **Mammoney:** yeah satan did you break it?

 **stn:** no, I was at school all day, obviously

 **Belphie:** wasn’t me

 **Mammoney:** nobody was accusing you belph

 **Mammoney:** but since you brought it up

 **Belphie:** you think I would have the fucks to give to get up, walk to asmos room, break his vanity, cover my tracks, walk back and go back to sleep?

 **stn:** he has a point

 **stn:** so that rules out belph and me, and asmo wouldn’t have done it himself

 **Lucifer:** nobody said it rules out anyone. The only people it couldn’t be are asmo and Solomon, since asmo wouldn’t want to hurt his reflection and Solomon hasn’t been to our house

 **Mammoney:** wasn’t he here like,,two days ago??

**AsmoBaby deleted a message!**

**Lucifer:** what did you delete asmo?

 **AsmoBaby:** nothing, but yh it wasn’t me and it wasn’t Solomon. So it had to have been one of you

 **AsmoBaby:** betrayed by my own brothers :(

 **L3V1:** beel’s been awfully quiet

 **stn:** stop trying to drop other people in it Levi

 **Beelzeburger:** I didn’t do it

 **L3V1:** that was quite quick, hmm only reply when you’re accused

 **Lucifer:** now come on, whoever did it just confess

 **Lucifer:** it’ll save time and Asmo having a strop

 **AsmoBaby:** yeah if you confess I’ll forgive you :)

**AsmoBaby** sent a message to **INTERROGATION ROOM #3 (15:47)**

 **AsmoBaby:** smart, you knew I would never forgive you

 **Mammoney:** well levi was home all day so-

 **L3V1:** oh so you’re gonna throw me under the bus huh?

 **Mammoney:** I’m just sayin!

 **L3V1:** well so was belphie!

 **Belphie:** p sure we already established I genuinely couldn’t give less of a fuck about asmos mirror

 **L3V1:** yeah! Which is why you’d break it!

 **Belphie:** I will break your toes

 **Beelzebub:** well levi has been accusing an awful lot of people soo there’s that

 **stn:** yes beel you’re right :/

 **L3V1:** why would I break his stupid vanity?

 **Mammoney:** how did you know it was broken, huh? Answer me that levi!

 **L3V1:** BECAUSE HE TOLD IS IT WAS DIPSHIT

 **Mammoney:** I’M JST SAYING IT’SS AWFULLY SUSPICIOUS

 **L3V1:** NO IT’S NOT WHAT THE HELL AND FUCK

**Several people are typing…**

**monSOLO** sent **AsmoBaby** a message **(16:14)**

 **monSOLO:** it was me

 **monSOLO:** I was trying to get something and I knocked into it

 **AsmoBaby:** oh I know

 **AsmoBaby:** I just like watching them squirm >:)


	6. authors note

Hi yall, so I know this isn't really an update and apologies for that, but life has kinda been kicking my ass and I have two other multi part fics in the making right now, so as a result this one has kinda been on the back-burner. On top of that, I've fallen out of obey me, not that I don't like it, just that I'm not up to date, so I'm probably going to work on catching up and re familiarising myself with the content and then I'll go back to posting (hopefully). Thank you for your patience, seeing the comments that you all have left really inspires me to keep writing, and I hope you guys will stick around to see what I can put out next!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey yall! This is my first work in ages so let me know if you like it ^^


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